Here is today’s object.
Those of you who were watching the webcam yesterday afternoon will have seen me collecting drips of rainwater from the leaky roof of my tower.
I am now proposing to dispose of this water.
I know that many of you will be shocked and horrified. Others will scoff and accuse me of calling your bluff.
‘What about the beautiful jewel-like Art Deco diatoms you’ll be destroying!’, you’ll say.
Well, as far as I know there are unlikely to be any diatoms in there. Diatoms occur mainly in bodies of water, oceans, rivers, streams, puddles, wet soil, damp patches here and there. No-one’s ever told me that they come from raindrops.
No I don’t know where they do come from.
‘Ok even if there are no diatoms,’ you clamour, ‘surely there’ll be millions of other little animalcules and microscopic beasties. And the rainwater will have passed through the material of the roof and leached out certain molecules from the various strata and will therefore have unique properties unlike any other drop of rainwater anywhere else on this or any other planet. How can you possibly think of destroying it?’
I will counter that I have no microscope, and no means of doing a chemical analysis. Except by tasting it, and I’m not that desperate. Anyway I’m busy.
‘But even if you do not have the means to analyse it and draw out its secrets, someone somewhere will. You’re in a museum for pete’s sake! You’re surrounded by experts. And, and… even if no one can or wants to now, who knows what instrumentation and what methods of interrogation future researchers will develop. The place and time of its collection is unique. It should be tagged and stored in a sealed bottle in a climate controlled room
And you sat by it and were speaking – Masaru Emoto the great Japanese researcher says water crystals can absorb psychic vibrations. They’re imprinted with your unique energy.
And some even more exotic cultures, with natives and spears and everything, think water is a sacred substance, bringer of life, cleanser of the spirit. How dare you even think of such blasphemy!
And… er… water is becoming an increasingly precious commodity. We should all be collecting rainwater. Especially if we’re in for a long hot summer.
OK, OK, look, you’re an artist, this is a work of art. That glass of water is a work of art. Or at least it’s documentation. You could sell it! I’ll be your agent. We could be rich! Please don’t destroy it!’
With cavalier disregard for all those arguments – unless the public outcry is unequivocal – I will destroy this sample by flushing it down the plughole.